...But Why Would I Want To Do A Thing Like That?
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Saturday, Sept. 13, 2003 | 5:32 p.m.

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Douglas Adams
The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Woody Allen
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

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Tallulah Bankhead
I'm as pure as the driven slush.

If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.

Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it.

Frank Barron
Creative individuals are more at home with complexity and apparent disorder than other people are. . .The creative individual, in his generalized preference for apparent disorder, turns to the dimly realized life of the unconscious, and is likely to have more than the usual amount of respect for the forces of the irrational in himself and in others.

Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary
Abnormal, adj. & n. Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested.

Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.

Admiration, n.: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

Birth, n.: The leading cause of death.

Cynic, n. & adj.: A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.

Friendless, adj.: Having no favours to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.

Heathen, n.: A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he/she can see and feel.

Lawsuit, n.: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

Love, n. & v.: A temporary insanity curable by marriage

Politics, n.: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

Politeness, n.: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

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Albert Camus
From The Stranger:
He wasn’t even sure he was alive, because he was living like a dead man.  Whereas it looked as if I was the one who’d come up empty handed.  But I was sure about me, about everything, surer than he could ever be, sure of my life and sure of the death I had waiting for me.  Yes, that was all I had.  But at least I had as much of a hold on it as it had on me.

Winston Churchill
I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.

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Fyodor Dostoyevsky
…the meaning of a person’s life consists in proving to himself every minute that he’s a person and not a piano key.

Bob Dylan
From All Along The Watchtower:
"No reason to get excited," the thief, he kindly spoke,
"There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke.
But you and I, we've been through that, and this is not our fate,
So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late."

From Emotionally Yours:
It's like my whole life never happened,
When I see you, it's as if I never had a thought.
I know this dream, it might be crazy,
But it's the only one I've got.

From Had A Dream About You, Baby:
I got to see you baby, I don't care
It may be someplace, baby, you say where.

I had a dream about you, baby
Had a dream about you, baby
Late last night you come a-rollin' across my mind

You got the crazy rhythm when you walk
You make me nervous when you start to talk

From Just Like A Woman:
Ev'rybody knows
That Baby's got new clothes
But lately I see her ribbons and her bows
Have fallen from her curls.
She takes just like a woman, yes, she does
She makes love just like a woman, yes, she does
And she aches just like a woman
But she breaks just like a little girl.

From Lay, Lady, Lay:
Lay, lady, lay, lay across my big brass bed
Lay, lady, lay, lay across my big brass bed
Whatever colors you have in your mind
I'll show them to you and you'll see them shine

Lay, lady, lay, lay across my big brass bed
Stay, lady, stay, stay with your man awhile
Until the break of day, let me see you make him smile
His clothes are dirty but his hands are clean
And you're the best thing that he's ever seen

From Mama, You Been On My Mind:
When you wake up in the mornin', baby, look inside your mirror.
You know I won't be next to you, you know I won't be near.
I'd just be curious to know if you can see yourself as clear
As someone who has had you on his mind.

From Need A Woman:
Well I need a woman, yes I do
Need a woman, yes I do.
Someone who can see me as I am,
Somebody who just don't give a damn.
And I want you to be that woman every night,
Be that woman.

From Never Gonna Be The Same Again:
You taught me how to love you, baby,
You taught me, oh, so well.
Now, I can't go back to what was, baby,
I can't unring the bell.
You took my reality
And cast it to the wind
And I ain't never gonna be the same again.

From No Time To Think:
Bullets can harm you and death can disarm you
But no, you will not be deceived.
Stripped of all virtue as you crawl through the dirt,
You can give but you cannot receive.

No time to choose when the truth must die,
No time to lose or say goodbye,
No time to prepare for the victim that's there,
No time to suffer or blink
And no time to think.

From Nobody ’Cept You:
You're the one that reaches me
You're the one that I admire
Every time we meet together
My soul feels like it's on fire
Nothing matters to me
And there's nothing I desire
'Cept you, yeah you

From The Man In Me:
The man in me will hide sometimes to keep from bein' seen,
But that's just because he doesn't want to turn into some machine.
Took a woman like you
To get through to the man in me.

From Til I Fell In Love With You:
Well my nerves are exploding and my body's tense
I feel like the whole world got me pinned up against the fence
I've been hit too hard; I've seen too much
Nothing can heal me now, but your touch
I don't know what I'm gonna do
I was all right 'til I fell in love with you

From To Be Alone With You:
They say that nighttime is the right time
To be with the one you love
Too many thoughts get in the way in the day
But you're always what I'm thinkin' of
I wish the night were here
Bringin' me all of your charms
When only you are near
To hold me in your arms.

I'll always thank the Lord
When my working day's through
I get my sweet reward
To be alone with you.

From Tough Mama:
Sweet Goddess
Born of a blinding light and a changing wind,
Now, don't be modest, you know who you are and where you've been.
Jack the Cowboy went up north
He's buried in your past.
The Lone Wolf went out drinking
That was over pretty fast.
Sweet Goddess
Your perfect stranger's comin' in at last.

Trust Yourself:
Trust yourself,
Trust yourself to do the things that only you know best.
Trust yourself,
Trust yourself to do what's right and not be second-guessed.
Don't trust me to show you beauty
When beauty may only turn to rust.
If you need somebody you can trust, trust yourself.

Trust yourself,
Trust yourself to know the way that will prove true in the end.
Trust yourself,
Trust yourself to find the path where there is no if and when.
Don't trust me to show you the truth
When the truth may only be ashes and dust.
If you want somebody you can trust, trust yourself.

Well, you're on your own, you always were,
In a land of wolves and thieves.
Don't put your hope in ungodly man
Or be a slave to what somebody else believes.

Trust yourself
And you won't be disappointed when vain people let you down.
Trust yourself
And look not for answers where no answers can be found.
Don't trust me to show you love
When my love may be only lust.
If you want somebody you can trust, trust yourself.

The Ugliest Girl In The World:
The woman that I love she got a hook in her nose
her eyebrows meet, she wears second hand clothes
She speaks with a stutter and she walks with a hop
I don't know why I love her but I just can't stop

You know I love her
Yeah I love her
I'm in love with the Ugliest Girl in the World

If I ever lose her I will go insane
I go half crazy when she calls my name
When she says babababababy I l-l-love you
There ain't nothing in the world that I wouldn't do

You know I love her
Yeah I love her
I'm in love with the Ugliest Girl in the World

The woman that I love she got two flat feet
Her knees knock together walking down the street
She cracks her knuckles and she snores in bed
She ain't much to look at but like I said

You know I love her
Yeah I love her
I'm in love with the Ugliest Girl in the World

I don't mean to say that she got nothing goin'
She got a weird sense of humor that's all her own
When I get low she sets me on my feet
Got a five inch smile but her breath is sweet

You know I love her
Yeah I love her
I'm in love with the Ugliest Girl in the World

The woman that I love she a got a prizefighter nose
Cauliflower ears and a run in her hose
She speaks with a stutter and she walks with a hop
I don't know why I love her but I just can't stop

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Ralph Waldo Emerson
Every hero becomes a bore at last.

Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies.

The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.

Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment.

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F. Scott Fitzgerald
The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise.

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Franz Grillparzer
Even with limited intelligence, knowing oneself is not as difficult as some say, but to act according to what one has realized about oneself in real life is as difficult as practicing anything else, compared to theory.

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Jimi Hendrix
From If 6 Was 9:
I’ve got my own life to live
I’m the one that’s gonna die
When it’s time for me to die
So let me live my life the way I want to.

Aldous Huxley
Maybe this world is another planet's hell.

Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.

After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.

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