Three days of what was supposed to be a "homework weekend" did not turn out that way. I still haven't even finished my psychology essays (there are 5 of them). There was so much that I'd planned on doing, just to get ahead start on my studies. It seems as if I'm stuck in slacker mode and can't get out.
One of the best things about this weekend is that I was able to speak with Tom this morning. For about an hour, he and I just talked about various things, most of those "things" concerning how we view one another. It seems that Tom (as well as myself) is beginning to feel something...more.
He was in a situation in which the girl he was hanging out with began dropping hints on the "activities" she would rather be engaging in. Simply put, she wanted to start making out. Tom said that the first thing he thought about was what it would be like to make out with me. He said that he wasn't interested in the girl "like that," mostly because he started thinking about me.
When he told me that, I couldn't help but smile. Not only does that mean that he sees me with a deeper attachment, but he's also having the same feelings as myself. When it comes to hooking up with other guys, I can't help but think of Tom. Doing such a thing makes me want to escape the presence of those other guys, just so I can send a e-mail to Tom about how much I miss him.
I like him more than I've openly expressed to him. The thing that keeps holding me back is that there's a distance between us (New York City isn't exactly Tallahassee's closest neighboring city); that distance could (and probably would) prove to be very difficult to deal with. There are other factors, of course, but I'll keep those to myself.
If there were a way to arrange things differently, if I could hook up with him, I would do it in a heartbeat. My attachment to him has grown so fast, but I've never experienced someone like him. The words that I could write here about how he makes me feel; how much I like and admire him; and how I literally ache when I miss and want him--those words could never describe just how I feel.
I sound like a love sick puppy, don't I?
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