Eighty-five percent of the time, I cannot stand being bothered by people. Most people bother me. People whom I care about and can actually stand, are not unaccustomed to not hearing from me in months at a time. I've talked with one of my best friends twice this summer. To some, that would seem strange. I just think it signifies that I really needed a vacation from her.
When people call me, I tend to not call them back. If I tell someone that I will call him or her back, he or she usually ends up dialing my number before I ever dial his or hers. Talking on the phone is a major dislike of mine. When I do talk to someone on the phone (and it's not a forced phone call), it means that I'm actually interested in how that person is doing.
Instant messaging is my favorite way to communicate with others. I am given time to think about my answer before I reply; I can forget about the other person while we are chatting, and it doesn't matter; and I can log off if I find the person I'm chatting with to be annoying. Try hanging up on that Annoying Certain Someone and find out how quickly you can become a "stupid ass bitch that's gonna get jumped one of these days."
Not that I really care. Besides, I don't know anyone stupid enough to actually try me. If you happen to run into this stupid person that I'm ignorant of, be sure to send my regards, and tell him/her that I'm waiting.
Just because I don't communicate with people doesn't mean that they're not on my mind. Actually, I think about people more than they'll ever know. Whether I like the person or not is not an issue. I just think. Those who are closer to me are on my mind more often than those whose company I do not seek. Just because I haven't spoken to them in a while doesn't mean that I've wiped them from my memory.
I like people from an observational point. Watching them, predicting what their reaction will be, finding out who they are inside -- I like that kind of interaction with people. The real interaction -- the kind which requires me to talk to another person about something that I'm not interested in, wonder what that person's motive is for talking to me, or any other general interaction -- is what I usually dislike. I feel socially awkward most of the time, which really makes my anxiety flare up. I strongly dislike having to faking interest in the conversation at hand. I'm terrible at it, really. Most of the time I end up zoning out on the person, only to find that I've insulted him or her by doing so.
If you want my attention, say something worth keeping it.
Not many people can say that they've kept my fully attention while conversing with me. In fact, I can name to you those who've kept me fully entertained, without letting my sarcastic comments slide into my head. In the past eight months or so, Christina and Tom are the only two people who stand out in my mind.
They're also the only ones whom I don't mind dialing my number.
Everyone else should keep my number off of their speed dial list. I'll only make an excuse to escape from the phone.
Hey Alisha! What's up?
Uh, nothing. You?
Same here. What have you done this summer?
Murdered a few innocent children, and yourself?
Uh...worked as a counselor for children with disabilities.
You came highly qualified for that position, didn't you?
Uh...huh. Anything interesting happen this summer?
No.
Oh. Well, I saved 13 children from a burning building with nothing but a toothbrush and help from the Divine Spirit above...
Looks like the Boy Scouts did something more than just open your awareness to your homosexuality.
Uh, I went camping for a few days and broke my nose, left arm, four fingers, three toes, right leg, and cracked my skull open...
Broke everything but your neck -- what a shame.
Oh yeah! I also got third degree burns from constant sun exposure.
Think that's a sign that you're going to hell when you die? [Thinking: Let's hope not. I don't want you as a neighbor.]
Gosh, this summer was great!
It sounds just super.
So, are you ready for school to start back? I can't wait to see my girlfriend. She went to North Carolina and spent time with family...
I heard that she also spent time with a local in Carolina that had a great smile with all seven of his teeth. It seems that she got knocked up, was called a whore as she walked into the abortion clinic, and got through with the procedure in time to make it to Sunday afternoon services.
Ah, she's a real Christian.
I don't doubt it. Well, it's been fun catching up with you, but there's a rabid dog running around in my yard that I've been meaning to get bit by. The summer offers so many fun options. I'll see you on the first day of school, if you're not killed in a head-on collision with a Mack truck between now and then. Remember to watch which direction the cars in your lane are going, making sure that they're kosher with the direction you're driving in. But, I know that you're such a safe driver when you're intoxicated, so I won't worry much. Bye!
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